Tag Archives: Love

Let’s go back to the beginning… Syria.

18 Aug

I started going to Syria from the beginning of the revolution. Looking back, it was the beginning of me truly living. I could never put into words the enlightening feeling there is of being surrounded by such an abundance of love, strength and passion in life.

Mid 2011 – Early 2012: While it was the beginning of a horrendous continual spiral downwards for Syria, it was also a time of unity, love, welcoming and laughter; emotions I was blessed to be a part off; looking back at the Syria I enter now I truly appreciate every moment in the beginning with all I got to experience.

I entered the country through routes unimaginable, mountain terrains across Lebanon, tunnels, running for your life through land mine territories, along with the paths that felt like a walk in a park which were somehow more worrying to me that a war zone was a few footsteps away. The stories are endless but I know many Syrians can tell plentiful tales than I ever could this one, and tragically many did not live to tell the tales of these dangerous crossings.

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The early demonstrations in Syria

When I finally reached the other side, I would be greeted with smiles, hugs, kisses, pulled in every direction by the locals of whatever village I arrived to. It was a joyous time in many ways. I would walk through the streets with the locals learning all about their life, discovering everything with little worry of those surrounding me. The shabiha were very present but I felt at such ease and comfort always of the men of the newly formed Free Syrian Army. This was a time when there was true unity across Syria in opposition to the government forces.

There was a beautiful energy among the people, even with the murders & imprisonments happening across the country.

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The early demonstrations in Syria

The streets would be full of cheering in the newly liberated areas, children playing in the streets as they should be, and then there were the demonstrations. What a wondrous time that was. I am sure you know what I am talking about if you were there. You remember that energy, the songs, the dancing, the chanting, the children clapping and dancing with their parents, handmade flags whisking through the crowds, in the villages the dry rice would be falling over you as the women sang and threw it over the crowds in joy. When I would arrive I would be treated like royalty! The people had so much love to show me, the welcoming was incredible. Most of my footage was terribly shaky as I couldn’t stop myself from having a little dance as I waved my way through the crowds. The drums would beat all around me and the sound of freedom songs filled the air. My ribs would ache continually as I traveled for weeks and months across the country and the laughter would be never-ending. I wish I had all my hard drives with me right now to share so much more.

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An early demonstration in Syria

Most of my travel would be done on the back of a pick up truck or a motorcycle, and at times whatever makeshift means of travel could be put together. I could travel across open roads freely in many ways while in FSA territory. There was a great sense of freedom as I could feel the wind against me as we traveled and I could film at ease with the locals welcoming nature.
We feared shelling, warplanes and snipers loyal to the Assad regime, but looking back in comparison to what has become now, the escalation is absolutely shocking.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there was tremendous tragedy, pain across the country that will always haunt, human life lost with no just reasoning. While the demonstrations would take place, there would be those times when government loyal forces would storm the area and kill as many as they could in their path of terror. Indiscriminate bombings, civilians murdered continually, loved ones constantly disappearing. The FSA took care to protect the civilians demonstrating, that was their job and the origins of why they were formed.

I don’t wish to go into all of that however, not in this moment. I mention this just incase anyone reading this things it was some sort of fun party in Syria; it was far from it. The realities were ridiculously dangerous and the war crimes unbearable to recall as they continue to be.

My reasoning for writing this is simply because I have continued to work in Syria to this day I write this and I have witnessed every step of the revolution, and the now chaos the country has descended into. Things are very different as we all know, week by week things change fast on the ground. Sadly the atrocities continue; in vast numbers with many different groups committing crimes now. Sadly I am not free to roam the streets and talk with locals as I wish. Sadly I cannot be known as a journalist or even humanitarian upon working with my charity there, and each time I enter the country, only my eyes show knowing there are few I can trust. I get such an overwhelming sense of sadness in these moments I travel. A once ‘freedom’ in many ways, to now a need to stay invisible. I feel weighed down at times with sadness from what has become of Syria lately and sit in this moment and recall so many cherished memories and cherished souls I have encountered.

I share this because I miss that unity. I miss those days, although I wish those days never had to exist, but I miss the beauty and glow of the Syrian people.

I have had a very busy year to date, but mostly have been away from social media as I just have not had the time to check in on it, but also at times because it saddens me deeply too. If I take a quick scroll through my news feeds on accounts I see so much hate, I just feel further sadness. There is enough destruction happening physically without now using social media as a method to spread hate too.

I do also have so much love, and you know who you are across the world who take their time to think of me and show me love frequently. That is never forgotten.

Smiles in Syria!

Smiles in Syria!

Stop and think, please. What has hate ever done for our world? What has hate ever done for you personally? What is that going to do for the chaos that has become Syria? I know a lot of it comes from places of anger and emotions, but focus those emotions towards love, towards sharing peace. That is how you can make a difference for Syria, for humanity.

Don’t waste time fighting over political movements in the country, the endless list of groups fighting across the country and the ever so complex who is who amidst this. Take your time on something in which you can and will make a difference, humanity. Remember that energy in the beginning, the love true Syrians have, that energy that was there in the beginning, it is still there in many, the people are weak in spirit but you can give them strength across the world to hold on to that love they had.

I still believe in Syria. I still believe in the people of Syria and I have ever reason to. My safety is in their hands to this day, to this day Syrians across the country protect me, give their lives to care for me. I will never be able to return the favour of what the people of Syria do for me, and I know the spirit of those who I have loved who has passed on are always surrounding and protecting me.

We all want to walk the streets of Syria freely once again, we all want to smell the sweet jasmine in the gentle evening breeze once again, and globally we need to be a part of the change.

There is no question hate is spreading across our world, the illness as I refer to it as called racism and religious intolerance from lack of understanding is on the rise. We have very sick people in our world who live by prejudice, and the only way to fight this is through a peaceful means. Through education, patience, and sharing peace and love in every step of our life we can teach those less educated about our world so much.

A wall in Kafranbel, Idlib, Syria

A wall in Kafranbel, Idlib, Syria

Weapons whether physical or verbal bring us pain and take us all to a dark place. Our world is big enough for us all to share. Our world has beautiful experiences we should all be able to share and I may be a dreamer, but our dreams are as alive as we make them, and I would prefer to journey through this life focusing on the love and sharing those experiences.

We are all humans, remember that. We are all part of the destruction across our world and we are all responsible for change. We all can be better, more loving souls every day and we need to work on that progression. Syrians taught me how to love, how to have inner peace, how to become a better person. Syrians showed me what love truly meant in this world with their kindness towards me, a strange to them in the beginning. Syrians deserve our love, and they deserve us to be showing the human face of the country much more.

With that I shall close on another note, from October I will no longer be working for mainstream media, I will be truly freelance again as I was in the beginning. I have always stayed freelance, but been drifting to too many contracts that do not give me satisfaction in what I do. I will no longer play a part in the role of the media giving minimal time with no care for the human story. I know that what the public want to see more, yet mainstream media continues to lack behind the public calling.

I will continue what I do but I will do so for anyone who wishes to take the time to see a human side of a story and I shall only be sharing human, civilian only stories from now on. If mainstream media wishes to take my stories they can do so as it is without editing my stories in any form; not that I have ever allowed anything from me be distorted to become a lie. I need to get back to human only stories as I began. These are the stories that matter in our world, the people deserve a voice. I ask you to do the same and together let’s keep peace and love spreading in our world and let’s keep the face of humanity alive.

Thank you for reading this if you have got this far… Truly thank you.

Peace and Love always…

Yasmin x

Islam…

15 Apr

Islam – the most controversial religion & topic in our world right now.I don’t like to turn a story into one that is about me, I like to stay private in my work as I think most will know, so I apologise in advance as I am turning this blog to be one that is about me to get my point across to you.

From the beginning of the crisis in Syria I have continually stayed on the ground with little time out the outside. To this day it remains the same. I have watched first hand this crisis changing, evolving, darkening. One thing has remained the same however; the true good people of Syria have remained loyal to assisting me, supporting me, protecting me, and respecting me.

Most of my time is spent with families. Families who are truly suffering within the war who are trying to cling to their dignity. I have stayed with families through their losses, tragedies, heartache, movements; each struggle that is faced within a war. Even through all of this they insist on caring for me. They insist on taking me in, giving me a place to sleep, feeding me and to this day it is a fight for me to try to give them anything in return.

I have argued with women trying to force me to wash; I have reservations as I do not wish for them to waste what little water they have on me washing when I just do not care when there, yet they force me. Come to think of it maybe that is for their benefit & not mine after all!

I sit with families that have such little food yet with their culture insist on giving all they can to me. I sit with their children who I can see are hungry & unhealthy yet even the children want to force feed me with no thought for themselves.

I am greeted with a love so rare; a love & bond that is indescribable. I am fought over on where I sleep as the children always like to sleep next to me. I am hugged & kissed in overwhelming amounts when I am welcomed back. I am cried over when it is time to say goodbye to a family to move to another area. I have gifts stuffed into every crevice of my bag; kids drawing for me & writing me letters, items now amounting to boxes weighing down my friends on each border awaiting a time I can get everything home.

I am sharing these small glimpses of life because this is the true face of Syrians; this is the true face of Islam. Anyone who has spent time with a Muslim family will know of the kindness; you will know of the bonds & the love created and I am quite sure you have never experienced such kindness, or situations of being so ridiculous full from eating too much with aching muscles from laughter too. I am most certainly not the only one with these experiences naturally, it just seems few speak out in public about it all.

Now, I am sure there will be some rather critical souls reading this who will be seeing me as a promoter of Islam or something alike. I do not promote or support any religion to be quite frank. I have my own spiritual beliefs in life, I simple believe in giving peace & love in all we do. I do have a problem with hate and lack of understanding in this world which makes me feel a need to speak as I am now. I have no disagreements with any religions; only with hypocrisy. I respect anyone living truly to their religion, everyone has their free choice in this world to be who they want through religion or no religion as far as I am concerned.

I do not hide who I am to anyone with my beliefs, and I am accepted for who I am and loved for who I am. Why? Well, the people truly living by Islam do not impose their beliefs upon another and accept another for who they are. As in any religion; it should never be imposed.

When I speak with people about why they still care for me, why they still protect me; they are putting their lives on the line to protect me – a stranger to their family for whom they could all be killed for; they simply do it naturally and find humour in my asking as it is just normal for them to do so and they are completely oblivious to the depths of what they do in caring for me.

It is no secret a lot of the world has a deep fear of Islam. Sadly Islamophobia is rapidly on the rise in every country. I am faced with conversations continually from people whom I can find little respect for when they feel a right to argue me about Islam and why it should be gone from the western world when they themselves have not even spent time with a Muslim; let alone visited a Muslim country. The lack of educated minds in our world is mind-blowing at times.

There is no question that the self-proclaimed Islamic State and other groups alike should be feared. There is no question they are involving themselves in terrorist activities. The thing that is forgotten is that true Muslims are not representatives of them. They know they are not Muslim and their practices are far from the practices that are stated in the Quran. They are simply a terrorist organisation masking under the name of a religion that does not belong to them.  The self-proclaimed Islamic State is a deeply complex matter to understand in itself, I shall leave that one aside for now.

Mainstream media is sadly an instigator for such hate rising in our world. While I work in the industry it does not mean I agree with much of what is done. There needs to be vast change in media & I do hope I see it in my lifetime. The term terrorist has taken a turn in the media to be one that is put into use when it is a person of Islamic birth roots committing the crime. The often happening school shootings across America from born Christians or otherwise are acts of terrorism, the tragic plane crash recently in France was an act of terrorism carried out by an individual, the beheadings of civilians are acts of terrorism, the Syrian regime dropping barrel bombs across Syria are acts of terrorism. There are continually acts of terrorism across our world. Terrorism comes in the form of all religious backgrounds, all colours, all countries.
Please think before you speak; please learn understanding because the hate being spread in our world is more terrifying to me than being in the midst of the most complicated battles within Syria could ever be.

A true person of Islam echoes the kindness & love I mention above on how I am cared for. This is the real face of Islam and this is a majority worldwide.

We are dividing our world. We are placing barriers between religions, the colour of someone’s skin, their country of origin, their sexual orientation & how another chooses to dresses. We are all responsible for the crisis in our world. We are all part of the problem and we all need to be taking steps to bring a change for the better; for the future in our world. We need to be removing these barriers that many have fought against through history to bring unity globally; yet here we are wishing to regress our societies.

I would not still be alive on this day to write this if it were not for the good-hearted souls representing what Islam truly is. In times of trouble in Syria there have been people who fought for my safety, Muslim people, there was no reward for them assisting & protecting me. They did not even want it to be known that it was them who helped me.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are issues within every culture; deep issues that need to be rooted out.  There is no such thing as perfect and everything takes hard work in our world. In the end hard work will always pay off. What we do need is a worldwide unity to tackle these challenges.

Lay down the hate and think. We are supposed to be educated individuals advancing in our world yet we seem to be plunging downhill.

Thank you to the beautiful souls I know worldwide from all religions backgrounds and countries; and a very special thank you always to the true people of Syria for all you do for me.

‘Calling all Humans’ – an inspiring read.

22 Mar

I want to share this beautiful poem written by an inspiring young lady; Tanisha Ahmed. She first wrote to me when she was 13; now at 15 she has written this and sharing it on Monday 23rd March in New York for a poetry contest.
I feel very proud of this young lady, who she is and who she is becoming every day. She sent me this to share with her nerves about reading it aloud, she has a vision that is just heart-warming; full of love and care for humanity and a strong passion from when she first wrote to me to care for humanity and do something for our world.

Please read and share your thoughts, I would love for Tanisha to be able to see the support and love there is across the world.

I have no question this girl is going to go very far in life and make a big difference to our world. Through every email she shares with me I see it more and more and can only smile greatly with love that I have been lucky to know her. She is full of wisdom beyond her years from the first day she reach out to me and it continues to grow wonderfully.

I cannot upload it here in the same format as she has it, but please do read it below, it is beautiful to see the young in our world, the future with such love and passion to have these feelings to write something as this.

My love to you always Tanisha; where ever I am you are thought about often and inspire me daily. x

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Calling All Humans

O my beloved sisters and brothers whom walk the soil of this Earth with Me. Yes! It’s true we are different in our color, in our race and in our Creed.

But what does all that matter when every one of us bleed the same. Do We not all bleed red? Or do we?

So listen close to my words.

I am Calling All humans. For I have an urgent message to deliver. On Behalf of the oppressed and impoverished and voiceless people of the Earth.

Listen.

For wounded souls speak.

Say.

Do you wish of a world with only hate and injustice?

A world with no love nor any tears for anyone’s bloodshed.

A world in which the wrong is seen as the right and the truth is known As the lie and the good are looked at as the bad.

Do you wish of a world where people blame God for the doing of evil Despite the fact he has given us everything to live equal?

A world where people remain silent against the oppression of people.

But I’m sure you wish of such a world because isn’t this the place you Call home?

I mean just how can you want to keep enjoying your time, while Knowing there are children in this world bleeding and even when you Waste your money on useless things, when you could have given to Someone in need.

Wake up O humans for humanity is calling to you in need!

Just look at Palestine where prayers are used as weapons against those Thieves who hid behind their guns and tanks shooting them at the Palestinians as if it’s “no big deal.”

Wake up O humans for humanity is calling to you in need!

Masjid Al-Aqsa awaits for you to set it free!

And surley Wallahi: By God we will set it free.For freedom is the only Language we warriors of God know how to speak.

Speak! Speak louder and raise your words with rhymes of justice and Peace that even the most toughest and most stubborn of mountains Will submit and salute you before your knees.

For your word is deep like the wounds of a child. The temporary Wounds on their skin but the everlasting wound on their heart as they Waited for your help.

O you whom see’s with your heart instead of your eyes. Let’s call upon Our lord as one nation our lord whom gives and gives whom Generously. O lord Al-Karim give us Noor: light in our hearts to make us Aware and O lord send us Arc Angel Azrael just too bare witness of our Prayers. For we dream to be amongst those you love.

O my dear sisters and brothers that I call upon in sincere need!

The screams are screaming for you so take heed!

Your triumph is there, turn no more blind eyes to the impoverished and Oppressed but beware for the strongest weapons in the entire universe For amour and protection is not that of blood and of steel but rather a Voice for the voiceless and a Mother’s prayer.

For there is no barrier between them and God.

فَقِيرٌ خَيْرٍ مِنْ إِلَيَّ أَنزَلْتَ لِمَا إِنِّي رَبِّ فَقَالَ

Fa qaa la Rabbi inne lima anzalta ilayaa min khayrin faqeer (24) Al-Qasas

“My lord indeed I am for whatever good you would send down to me in need.”

And indeed God will give a mighty victory to those who stand for justice!

Ameen.

By: Tanisha Ahmed

The Paris Marathon; Completed!

13 Apr

On Sunday 6th April, I ran the Paris Marathon to raise funds for Syria, and I actually finished!!

WWW.TRUTHPEACELOVE.ORG

Running the Paris Marathon!

I didn’t do any training whatsoever, it is impossible with my career to do so, and to be quite frank; I don’t like exercise, it doesn’t interest me. In all honestly, I probably have one of the unhealthiest diets, one of cake, chocolate and all that good stuff in abundance daily as most who know me well know. The only time you could catch me running would be if the patisserie was about to close and I had no sweet things left in my home. I don’t like gyms, and am no type of fitness person.

Ok, so it took me around 7.50hrs to finish, I was last, and I did injury my muscles through the marathon, and I cried like I haven’t in a long time to the end with a lot of bad words muttered between that, but I kept going and finished! I could have kept going too if my legs allowed me, from the waist up I felt great and could have kept going for days! Who would have thought it!

It also helps that I know I have an Angel above I hold on to daily guiding me and have been guided in the past year since they left this earth.

I certainly am not advising anyone to run a marathon without training, but, in having googled extensively in a panic the day before the marathon terms like ‘how to run a marathon without training’, and only feeling more scared, I felt it good to have something positive out there to say you can do it! We can do anything when we put our hearts into it. I even felt ready to stop at just 4 miles, I felt so drained and my legs were so shaky and sore already, then when I tore my muscles; well, that took it to a heightened level of pain.

Yasmin Al Tellawy - Paris Marathon

Hobbling in tears in a lot of pain through the finish!

I had a lot on my mind, personal matters that stay with me and keep me thinking & aspiring for more, and mostly Syria, thinking of all the families suffering, who need assistance, and the endless stories and situations I have witnessed there over the years.

I meet so many families that will forever stay with me, families who struggled to make it to the borders for safety, days of traveling by foot with children, no food or even water, and had to keep going to reach safety. In my low moments walking through the marathon feeling I could not go on with the pain in my legs, I felt stupid complaining & would have felt even more stupid to have stopped. There I am choosing to do this, something of which is a joy to most, an achievement, and there are people in Syria having to take a journey far greater than the 42km of the marathon just to get to safety; just to survive. Naturally that kept me going, that was the inspiration.

A couple of weeks ago I was leaving another trip in Syria and had some minor issues where I was crossing, a couple of Syrian men had come to help me out, no reasons but to just be kind… it turned out, one of the men had just traveled for 9 days, through extreme circumstances for survival and there he was wanting to help a complete stranger for no reasons at all but out of care and wanting to help one another. I asked him why with all he has going on, losing everything in Homs, the pain he was in from his troublesome journey through the country would he stop to help a complete stranger, and he just said why not, this is what we do in life. It was that simple to him and no big deal, yet a very big deal to me. This is the beauty of the true people of Syria; this is who the real people of the country are, and yet another reason of why I keep doing my work there.

I swore I would complete the marathon if it killed me, if I done so crawling, and I endeavor to be a person who certainly does all to stand by my word.

Tears of pain mixed with joy completing the Paris Marathon!

Tears of pain mixed with joy completing the Paris Marathon!

We raised $4000 for Syrians, enabling more people to get the help they need. Every little part helps, and every single penny can go far in making a difference.
I am still so overwhelmed, shocked and surprised by the vast amount of support I had. It is just unbelievable. Every soul who took their time to care, to donate to Syria to add up to this figure, everyone who took so much time across social media of which I know I have not thanked personally yet as there are just so many, it was all possible with you guys.

I am so touched, and I cannot express just how much I mean that. To read through the messages, tweets, emails as I done the marathon each time I checked my phone was just incredible and kept me smiling to continue, what amazing support!

I have been so blessed for getting to work with the people of Syria, sadly I just wish it were under a lifestyle they deserve and not this tragedy, but I am so blessed to have been able to connect with people across the world, people who care, who have been my support, who really have hearts larger than imaginable to do all to help for no reason other than a care for humanity. It is just beautiful, and I can honestly say, I have never felt so happy in my life because of all this.

Many wanted me to pull out due to my bad knee and back problems, & mostly the lack of exercise and having no training at all. It just shows what we can accomplish is we truly put our hearts into it; we can achieve anything we want when we really try.

Recovery!

Recovery day after the marathon!

I couldn’t walk the next day, but the day after, I was back on my feet, in pain and walking rather awkwardly little by little, but it was so worth it!

The next day was full of cold packs, creams, gels and anything you can think off to aid in the pain & recovery as I had to be on a flight the next day!

I want to also apologise to people who I have not written back to personally, things are just very busy at times, I have 2 careers that are very separate to manage, the media industry and running the NGO, things just get hectic and it is nothing personal at all, I do eventually get round to things personal, I hope you can understand this and know the support is so greatly appreciated and inspiring to me.

While many felt it was crazy for me to attempt the Paris Marathon, I can tell you now, I plan on doing something a lot crazier next year, that being something called Marathon Des Sables… www.marathondessables.co.uk – How hard can it be, really!? 156 miles across the Sahara… piece of cake! Of course, again it will be to raise funds for Syrians in need.

Thank you for the support from near and far, thank you for being in my life, and I hope you guys know just how thankful I am to you, those who take so much effort for humanity, and took so much effort over the marathon fundraiser… You inspire me to be a better person.

Thank you from all my heart & soul to those I have met worldwide now through my work, through our interests, through Syria. Thank you to my amazing friends I am so lucky to have across the globe!

We really can make a difference to the lives of Syrians, we can really all help at least one family and that is what life is all about. The organisation I started is small, but is doing effective work, many families are the assistance they need whether it is short-term or long-term, many children are back into education and women are recovering from sexual crimes. We can all do something for humanity, I feel many people just talk and don’t take action because they feel how can you help, you can’t give a lot of money, you don’t know how you can help, so many thoughts, but the truth is everyone can help, everyone can make a difference, and you can, I ask you to please continue to reach out to Syria, it is the worst crisis in our world now and the humanitarian catastrophe is absolutely mind-boggling. Sadly, I don’t have the answers to ending war in our world, but I do know how we can help for humanity, and that is something we can all do.

The Truth Peace & Love FoundationThe Truth Peace & Love Foundation is working hard on setting up more projects and in need of expanding the current ones, along with needing to provide further assistance back into Syria, areas that they can get access to, but the funds are needed to help these people. Please continue to help if you can, please spread the word. www.truthpeacelove.org

Thank you again to everyone for getting me through the Paris Marathon, for all the support always, I am looking forward to the next challenge, and I shall even be more crazy and volunteer myself to any challenges you may have in mind to raise money for the benefit of humanity for Syria!

With Peace & Love,

Yasmin x

Paris Marathon for Syria!

2 Apr

This Sunday (6th April 2014), I will be running the Paris Marathon. I am running it to raise funds for the people of Syria, whom need the worlds support to get through this crisis.

I have recently left yet another trip to Syria, yet another one of much heartache, great distress, further problems, severe hunger, lack of health care & medical facilities, the list is endless. If I am not in Syria then I am in a border region where millions of refugees now reside; struggling for survival.

Yasmin Al Tellawy - Syria

Getting my equipment stolen in Syria by this cute little one! Photo credit: Thanks to Minka Nijhuis

I have worked in Syria for over 2 years now, if not in Syria, then in the neighbouring border regions with the Syrian communities. I have witnessed tragedy that I never thought could exist in our world, I have watched scenes that I would never wish upon a soul to see. I have encountered many families, many children who I grew close with in this war after they took me in on my travels inside, offering me all the love a person could dream off and more; many have since passed on.
I have countless stories and experiences of overwhelming pain that families have & are suffering through in Syria.
I could rhyme off a million and more tragic tales from Syria, as can every soul living in the war, and every soul who has spent a great deal of time within the war. I could share heart wrenching images and footage, but I choose not to.

Instead I will tell you of the good within this crisis. I have been blessed with love I never could have imagined existed in our world.  I have been given kindness that is truly indescribable within Syria, from families who have nothing, yet still reach out and want to give to me, want to care for me when I am in their company.
I have seen strength that has inspired me, warmth that has inspired me to be a better person and do more for our world.
That love & kindness inspired me to set up The Truth Peace & Love Foundation. That love and kindness also gave me the strength to deal with many personal challenges in recent years.

Yasmin Al Tellawy

The front lines of SalahAlDin, Aleppo, Syria

Every time I am in Syria I sit in awe as the few families left in some areas in their homes that are ruins, without electricity, heating, food with grief in their hearts somehow reach out to me and want to care for me, a stranger, and one who wants to hear their stories of tragedy they are experiencing. They open their doors with welcome arms and give me what they can, and what safety they can offer to me when undercover in such dangerous situations.
It all may sounds so simple to you reading this, but it is this love that pushes me forward, it is that love that has made me sign up to do something rather silly like the Paris Marathon this Sunday.

YasminAlTellawyKids

This little girl is full of so much love & too many cuddles! A refugee now from Aleppo, living in Kilis. Photo credits: Max Aderman / Larissa Neick

The Truth Peace & Love Foundation has assisted so many families now, individual cases, and over 300 victims of rape, sexual assault & other sexual related crimes and many more cases. I have been able to watch young girls who were once in tears wishing for an end to their lives now smile and go to school with dreams of great achievements I know they will get.

I owe a great deal of thanks to the people of Syria, they families who assist me when inside Syria; who let me stay with them, who share great deals of love & care to me.

I owe a lot of thanks to those who I work with in each region of Syria, who take much time to care for my safety & have assisted me beyond necessity in times of danger.

I owe much respect to the families who were only civilians in this war who reached out to me in my time working in Syria who have sadly since passed on.

I also owe my deepest condolences to all those who have lost family across Syria, to all those suffering and for being a part of this world, a world where I believe we should all be one; a world where we should all be reaching out to help one another in need.

I see much growth happening, communities coming together for schools, PTSD assistance, prosthetics assistance, fathers getting back into work and able to support their own families again, rescue teams in Syria who are volunteers only who give their lives to rescue civilians after attacks, there are endless lists of great work being done, progression and ability to get people back on their feet again, and this is what we must focus on, this is what is important now. The people of Syria need so much more assistance like this, and this is what it is all about.

As a human being in this world I reach out to you to please donate and assist the people of Syria for humanity.

Anyone who knows me will know I have no care for politics of religion, these boundaries are not anything I am a fan off in any way, I am a fan of humanity only, and my beliefs in life are simple; spread Peace & Love in our world.

www.youcaring.com/marathonforsyrians

Every penny counts. If you can donate $5, or $500 it all matters, it all makes a big difference to help those in need. Please donate, please share at least, please do what you can!

My efforts to assist are little, I know this, but this is a little way in which I am trying to help. I have no training at all to be running a marathon, my fitness is, well, non-existent to be honest, and I have a bad knee that likes to play up every now and then, yet I will endure through this marathon, even if it takes me 2 days to complete, I will do it because I have the strength in my soul from all the Syrians I have met and had the blessings of their love.

Please reach out, please help. Every penny counts and we can all make a difference to help humanity.

If I end up crying like a baby by the time I reach 5km begging for it to all end, contrary to my big claims of I will do it no matter what then I do apologize in advance, and ask for forgiveness in advance! (joking…!)

Please also join the event page I set up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/256242801225245/

Thank you to those who have been so kind to donate to the marathon fundraiser, and to the organisation I have been so blessed to be a part of with some of the most incredible souls working tirelessly to assist the people of Syria. It really has been so touching to me the support I have had setting all of this up, and to those who have reached out and donated, and shared this widely, thank you from all of my heart, you are amazing!

Together we can really make a difference in this world, and really change the lives for the better of those Syrians who need the support now.

With Peace & Love,

Yasmin x

http://www.youcaring.com/marathonforsyrians
http://www.truthpeacelove.org

What Happened to Love?

19 Sep

I’m talking about love, not that word that is thrown around on a daily basis holding no depth, that emotion that few lucky people get to experience in entirety in our world. We have love of many forms in our world, but I am talking about that once in a lifetime bond with another, that special something that connects us and give us pure safety in every ounce of our being.

Across the world, no matter where I go, love is missing. Cheating, deceit lies and more on top of that are the way of life, and what has become a normal in society tragically.

What happened to respecting your body, your soul, your heart? What happened that these hold no value; in my lifetime I have never known it to hold value.

Are we so afraid to jump so big and chase a dream emotion with someone who tickles our heart, or are we lonely beings as humans that just crave any human contact instead of dealing with our inner insecurities that bring us comfort to be alone and wait for something that special?

As I travel, I look around and get inundated with emotionally draining & heart wrenching life stories, I rarely hear a true love story, and when I do I cling to it.

I recently met a couple who have in total waited 14 years to be with one another. I have never seen such smiles and joy as I did at their wedding. It has moved me so deeply, through tragedy and struggle for over 10 years; this couple fought for love against all the odds and now have that special bond with no regrets of waiting for one another, it has touched me so much that this family is part of an upcoming film I am making now.

If I told you the full story you would be in tears. This is what saddens me; we are so touched by great love stories because they are that rare and we as humans in our world have made them that rare.

People have always thought I am an odd girl, chasing dreams, chasing a fantasy of once in a lifetime love, yet I confront and deal with the worst human crisis in our world, the older I grow and especially with my work surrounded by such tragedy frequently, I only stand stronger to my beliefs and morals on these matters, of which I am proud of. We have nothing if we do not have love I feel.

Young people cry to me over mistakes they have made, older people cry to me over mistakes they have made, stories of in one weekend they were in love, slept with the person and it was over that following week. This is the societies we live in sadly, but it seems not enough fight against this, people complain they want more and that once in a lifetime feeling but they don’t live by it, they don’t respect their body and soul.

I want to say to any female or male feeling insecure, feeling lonely, feeling lost and craving love that it is ok. All comes to those who wait, all comes when the time is right and that is the fact of it. Once day you will have someone special in your life, one day you will have it all so wait, wait for someone special and respect yourself.

Don’t live in lies; don’t live being who you are not. Don’t drag someone else into your mess if you cannot give them honesty, find yourself and do this alone without harming another with false promises of emotions, and don’t turn to resentment if you have been lied upon and do this to another.

If you think you are happy sleeping around, I can promise you that you are not. You may not know that now but one day you will find that and end up in regrets. If you think sex is happiness in your life then you are not living. We all have desires, we all crave physical contact, but we all crave most of all to wake up next to another who truly cares for us.

We don’t want to be alone on our death-bed, yet so many are, and so many lead a life leading to this. We want to feel butterflies when someone says our name, we want to know someone cares for us so deeply they live their life for us and they don’t even have to say it. We all want to have someone next to us we are so enamoured by as we fall asleep. We all want to laugh, cry, and be held when times are tough. We wat to plan trips with that partner who understands us and loves us for us through the good and bad in us, we all want true passion in every form of it, we all want a partner in the true meaning of it, and no matter what country I go to this is the missing key to life that everyone craves.

I work in cultures sometimes where this bond is not allowed to grow. I meet people so trapped by their religion that they are pushed into marriages unhappily. I meet people who live by stories I can tell them of emotions and love and life and it breaks my heart they have to live through someone else to feel anything because they are not granted the freedom to feel.
Then I look at Western cultureS and feel so sickened that they are granted all the freedom in the world and it is abused so greatly with lack of self respect, sex with people whose names are forgotten soon thereafter, and I just feel so saddened at the missing links across the world.

Live well, live true and respect yourself. I talk frequently with youth and teenagers and have over the years, and many have come back to me a little more grown up saying they wish they didn’t conform to society and pressures they had felt to sleep around and not love themselves. People try to tell you that you can’t be alone and just meet someone nice and good to you, no, wait for love I say, true love and when it comes it will hit you so hard that you won’t be able to run from it no matter what you try.

Love yourself, love your being. Don’t try to compensate for love, wait for that special feeling, love will come and it will be worth waiting for in every way. If you live in a culture where you are allowed to explore feelings of your own be so thankful, if you are in a culture where you are trapped from having self-expression of emotions then my heart cries for you, all the people I have met and all the love stories I have had shared to me, it breaks my heart how much love is disrespected.

If you have that special feeling for someone then jump big against all the odds. If someone is on your mind continually hold no fear in declaring it regardless of what may come back in return. Share your love, share your feelings and care nothing for what another thinks. Be love and if you are now happily married or getting there because true love has come your way then you have my every congratulations and advice to never let it go and even through the hard times, remember they only make you stronger together and never give up. If something is easy in life it is not worth a dime.

If you once thought you had love but it is gone, it is ok, it wasn’t the real thing, and if it was it will come back, in the meantime brush yourself off, remember you again, never forget your worth. You live, you learn and something better is always awaiting you. Most of all, don’t let it change you, learn what you do not want to be from a bad experience only.

Our world is missing love in many ways. Be a part of a world where love exists in every form, from your personal life to the love of humanity, spread love, and respect that word with what it truly means. Our life is so precious, love is so precious, and truly could be taken from us tomorrow, live for love.

Rape in Syria

2 Mar

Rape has always been a dominate weapon in war. Rape in any circumstance is a horrendous, disgusting act; when you add the violence in rape that happens within a war, it brings it to yet another sickening low act that is beyond the imagination. Rape and sexual abuses are committed frequently in Syria, however are highly under reported.

Rape has always held a stigma attached to it of shame in the Middle East and through religion this is heightened. Rape holds a stigma wrongly attached to it worldwide of course. In the Muslim culture at times with rape cases, the victims can often be forced to married their rapist, have their children, and do not have a voice in this matter. They are given a feeling of shame. Rape in war currently from Syria has brought a business of selling these victims as brides, trafficking rings have been set up, a money-making trade has been made out of these victims from Syria.

What I will also point out as many people misunderstand Muslim culture, this is not how every Muslim feels about rape, or deals with the crisis happening with this, like any culture and religion there are the good and bad within it. There are Muslims assisting these victims as much as they can in the right way too.

Rape in Syria is currently happening not only to females, but males also, however, males will never speak about this matter tragically to get the help they require.

Girls suffering from rape; and I do want to emphasise girls are in need of serious help, some cases are even as young as 7 years old (I have personally dealt with one case at this age), with age of cases I have dealt with mostly from Syria are predominately between 11-20 years old. Not only are these girls raped there is a great deal of violence within the rape, many have already witnessed horrific atrocities happening, some have witnessed their own loved ones being killed and are then raped, abused and tortured in highly intrusive sexual manners. Brutality which includes being prodded with a hot rod in their genital region, mice being used are commonly reported as being inserted into these victims, and many other disturbing, and brutal methods of torture are being used to harm these victims.

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Many girls are scared and try to hide it from their own loved ones where possible, they are living with this shameful feeling within themselves. The suffering they have gone through with this horrendous situation, to then in some cases to find they are pregnant at times and are also being sold as brides.
These victims feel worthless, like they are unable to marry, have children, they are feeling like their life is over and in many cases wishing for death to knock upon their door as they can see no life ahead of them. Some organisations are providing what they feel is assistance by selling these girls as brides as a charitable act.

I have two particular cases that are strong in my memory always. One being what I previously touched on briefly in my last blog, and another being a girl so scared from her religion and family, even though I knew her own family would have assisted her, she turned to religion heavily, not allowing any men to see her at all, and covering everything, even her hands if she went out anywhere, her own mother did not wear a headscarf on normal occasions. I was lucky to be able to meet her to assist her in the appropriate way so she no longer had to keep this all in her mind.

We have problems now with trafficking of Syrian girls, some due to them being raped and deemed worthless, some as their families feel they are doing right marrying them off from a life in a refugee camp. There are many reasons for this. There is a major problem of girls being used as prostitutes, girls being dumped when unwanted in certain Arab countries and thrown into brothels. The problems happening currently are out of control and need better assistance from our world to be stopped.

Can you imagine being a child, having watched your family be murdered to then be raped repeatedly & graphically tortured in the most revolting ways imaginable, to then be possibly sold as a bride or used as a prostitute? I am sure you fail to imagine this or connect to this on any level. I remember turning 13 and recalling worrying about whether my school bag would have been cool to fit in with the cool kids, worry about my hair style, running around in fields picking wild raspberries. I am sure most of you have many childhood stories of your ‘worries’. Can you imagine being back in that age and thinking of the graphic rape you have just suffered through, the loved ones you have lost and feeling unable to speak, and then if you possibly do speak, the chances are you will end up in a wealthy Arab state as an extra wife, or used as a prostitute. This is what is happening in many instances right now as you read this.

Rape is now being committed by both sides of the fighting in Syria. It is used as a weapon of war for many reasons. Reasons that I would like to think the majority of us will never be able to adhere to such comprehension. What we need to focus on primarily is getting these victims the help they need, not judging them upon their sect of religion from Syria, or which side may have committed the crime and so forth.

Sadly I personally cannot stop rape crimes being committed in our world, but I do know what we can do as humans who should care for humanity and take the appropriate steps to dealing with rape in war. We can assist these victims in the appropriate manner without judgements of religion, culture or any of the barriers in our world.

If you have been a victim of rape, you are not a person who should hold shame in any way. You need to know you are a beautiful being in our world and have not done anything wrong. You are someone important in our world. You do not deserve to be treated as a victim who should be ashamed. You deserve the right support for what you have had to tragically suffer through. You deserve protection, care to recover mentally and physically, care without judgements.

I have worked with quite a few rape cases from Syria in the past year, my mind cannot comprehend the trauma these girls have suffered for the simple reasons being I do not, and do not ever wish to understand the minds of these sick individuals and groups committing these crimes. I do find it hard to sleep most nights knowing the monstrous acts that have been shared with me by many victims. I can only think constantly, and I hope many of you will agree with me; what is wrong with our world? Why are we allowing these crimes to happen? What more can we do?

I ask you to focus on what is happening in our world. Syria is facing one of the worst crisis in more recent history. There are many issues happening across our world, I ask you to take action, stand up against these matters, make a change, we can all make a change no matter where we are.

We are all doing something wrong in our world if victims of rape in war are being sold as worthless beings. We are all doing something wrong in our world if we are not opening our eyes & hearts to this matter. We are all doing something wrong if we do not take action to make a change.

Rape is only one of many war crimes being committed in Syria of course, but is the most sensitive and is lacking support. We need to focus on the assistance of victims from the crisis in Syria, and this is not being done enough.

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Children are suffering internally from being witness to barbarity without the appropriate treatment for their future, women without support living in fear of sharing what has happened to them, men who have been tortured in such explicit conduct that bury it so deep internally, the list is truly endless, never mind the injured who are not getting the support they need either. There are so many problems not being addressed sufficiently from the crisis of Syria.

There are organisations of course set up to assist with these victims of rape; however, it is proving ineffective for several reasons, and also depending on how you look at the right way of deal with rape may be.

5-10% of the crimes happening in Syria are reported. There is so much more happening that is not being shown, and we need to work together for humanity to show these crimes, assist with these matters and bring help in the right way. I am shocked constantly speaking to people, general citizens in various countries surprised that I am speaking about a war in Syria who say in shock ‘are they still having problems?’

Please take notice of the crisis in our world.

This is the most sensitive topic within the war to deal with; the point is that we can deal with it and it is time we did.

Truth – Peace – Love.

Helping Humanity, Open your Heart for Syria.

14 Jan

Recently, I have been going through files from Syria in 2012. I came across this picture and it brought back so many memories.

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I had gone on yet another trip inside; I was planning on 1-2 days in Aleppo after Idlib, this was at the beginning of the troubles in Aleppo, before it went to mainstream media, when it was still very much in the hands of the regime and not the opposition. I decided to go into the centre, things were very different at the time upon going into the centre, I won’t go into much detail of it, but, there were no Free Syrian Army groups going back and forth at the time, everything was silent of this, everything was with regime checkpoints in the centre, not FSA checkpoints.

About 8 days later, after no communication with those few on the outside who knew what I was working on inside, no emails, no phones, nothing, let’s just say I had landed in a far from safe situation, I was out to Idlib border again,  back to being able to breathe, feel safe for that time frame. I won’t go into great details of everything day to day.

I let kids use my camera when resting, in family homes and so forth, it brings them a moment of joy from the boredom the poor children have to suffer through with no schools, no real freedom for play time and these things kids need. What I didn’t realise was this kid had listened to me speaking about what had happened and was paying close attention to the chats with the adults in the group. He took this snap, this was the moment I had phone communication again and relieved a lot of very worried people on the outside who were starting to think the worst. It was such a joyous moment and this brought me smiles as I reminisce over that trip. It then brings me great sadness.

During that trip, I had witnessed some of the most horrific scenes to date in Syria for me. Things that still haunt me, still shock me, things that I would wish no-one to see or experience.

It started with a 12-year-old girl who had been raped horrendously by what is known as the Shabiha, a militia group loyal to the Syrian regime. The Free Syrian Army had rescued her, she had witnessed her family murdered in front of her own eyes. They took her and continuously raped her, they used mice as part of shaming her, and prodded her with a hot rod type of item. Now, I won’t go into the tragic details of this crime, but you may find it hard to believe. How could anyone do this to a little girl I thought as she shared her horror with me, myself in the moment even in so much shock trying to believe her story. With just her and I in the room, she was being treated for her wounds, she was crying, wishing for death as what man would ever want her, she called herself a monster now, she could never have children, her family are all gone, what did she have to live for she questioned me, the tragedy that was before me was beyond comprehension. I tried to comfort her, I tried to calm her, she lifted her gown and blankets from the hospital bed she lay on and shouted at me to look at her disfigurement.

I had lost any right to question her story she shared with me in that moment as I fought to hold back my every emotion in front of her.

Rape is not something spoken about openly in the Muslim culture; it’s difficult for someone to speak about from any culture, but no culture as difficult as the Arab nations.

Rape is happening more frequently than can ever be documented in Syria currently, including men suffering sexual abuses.

Continuing that trip, there was tragedy after tragedy in all the regions I travelled to. Everyone not without their tragic story to share, places of terror, fear, the unknown that could happen at any moment with the fear of helicopters at the time circling as we would await them dropping out rockets. Descriptions I could never put into words, nor could anyone of what the situation is like inside.

These scenes are only worsening inside now. These tragedies are worsening daily, yet we are approaching 2 years of the troubles in Syria and it only continues to deteriorate while it seems humanity is lost in the world.

I only share this tiny glimpse into one of my trips into Syria as looking back at this file, seeing this picture, and remembering it all, as I do every trip I have made inside, I never forget everyone who helps me, everyone I meet, I just don’t share much publically about it, but I spoke to this little boy this morning and asked him if he remembered the pictures he took on my camera, he said yes of course, he loves my camera he said, and he asked me if I am happier now. I asked him why he asks me this, he said because when he met me I was very sad even though I was laughing and playing with his family. That saddened me even more that this boy, this family that I have not seen again since that trip remembers me, and that little boy takes the time to ask me how I am and if I am happy while his family are in great suffering, lacking food, further lives lost in their family while they lack clothing, blankets and so forth for winter.
I could share a thousand stories and more, as can anyone who has been inside, or any Syrian first and foremost who has suffered – each story is just as important as the other, every human life counts, this is not a statistic; yet this is how most know Syria and it’s tragedy as statistics.

This same trip one of the many families I had met with, a family who took me in for shelter for a short time and fed me, I had given a little girl bracelets as a gift, I always try to carry some small items I could give as gifts to children, I had 2 bracelets she liked, nothing special but she adored them, she asked me what they said, one was peace, one was love, (If you know me, it’s my motto through life and any jewellery I am wearing frequently has this written on it in some way…), so I say to her, Salam (Peace) and Hubb (Love). She said it was so beautiful, and we laughed as I ate with her and her family. I put them around her wrist and she asked me to promise to come and she her again, Inshallah (God willing incase you are not familiar with Arabic terms) I said, and I looked to her family and asked them why are they not leaving as they were in a very dangerous area and it was only a matter of time before it would be hit, I feared for them. This little girl was so precious, so smart, so loving, there was something about her that stuck with me, I think it was because she reminded me of myself when I was her age, she was so beautiful. She came running to me in tears as I was leaving, she was scared I would not visit her again and missed me already she said, and she gave me back the bracelets I gave her. We all were so surprised as the kids love to get gifts and she adored the little bracelets. She said she wanted me to wear them because she wants me to keep the Peace and Love with me as I travelled in Syria to be safe and wanted me to always remember her. After a lot of bickering and giggles, I put the bracelets on and she made me promise her I would never take them off. I never took them off since then. 2 days later I was in a different region and was told that the village was hit badly and there are many injured and killed including many children. Of course my first instinct was to think of Alaa, that little girl, that family who took me in. I requested to go back to that village to see what had happened, my heart sank as I returned to a now destroyed village. I went to the house that was where I sat days previously and laughed with a family, that house was rubble now. We asked around what happened, tried to find information, most fled to refugee camps so I presumed they had left there too. A man in the village remembered me, he was a neighbour of the family and had sat in for dinner with us, he told me to come with him, he took me to a graveyard, to Alaa’s grave. That little girl, just days prior I laughed with was killed as she was buried in rubble in her home. To this day I can’t believe it, but I don’t look at those bracelets the same anymore and I certainly never did take them off, until recently as they were getting badly damaged so I wanted to protect them to make sure I always had them, I replaced them with a small peace & love bracelet I can always wear to remember her.
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This is a frequent story in Syria sadly. It just hurts more as it would any human I would like to think when you meet the people personally, it adds a different level of upset to the situation.

The beauty in the hearts of the Syrian people is one that I cannot ever falter. It is not one that anyone will ever understand unless they have travelled to Syria, or lived in Syria or been working inside. Being any outside to the religion, yet being brought in and welcomed and assisted is something that is lacking great understanding to the outside world. Muslim’s get put under one big title in the world by those who lack education on the religion or live in little bubbles of Fox watching news turning a blind eye to the real world.

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Right now there are millions of humans suffering across our world, from many countries, cultures, religions. Right now though, Syria is suffering the worst humanitarian crisis possible.

No-one can imagine the suffering the people are going through, the tragedy that has happened and is happening. You see about 10% if you are lucky through the media. A lot more needs done.

We are here on this earth for humanity, to help one another in need. It is not about religion, not about race or anything alike, this is about humanity.

I am asking you for humanity, to please help in any humanitarian way you can. Please open your eyes, please donate what you can – financially, clothing, blankets, anything else to a local group that you trust is doing great work inside and / or in the refugee camps surrounding Syria. If you need advice on trusted groups in your country please get in touch I will be happy to guide you as there are sadly many who are profiting from war as always happens and cannot be trusted too, so please be sure to verify donations carefully. As some of you may know, I am starting my own organisation, and have received many donations of medical supplies, clothing and so forth to get through to those in need. I will not be ready to launch my organisation official until March roughly, but if you do wish to pass anything through I can direct it through me if this helps for those who know me. My organisation will be a different way of involving the world in bring aid to those in need, it will not be limited to Syria, it will be a worldwide organisation, however in the first year the prediction is we will only be aiding Syria through it.

Be thankful for all you have, for that phone call you were able to make today, for that cup of coffee you made yourself that you must have every morning or else you will have a conniption. Be thankful for life, for your children, your wife and your husband if you are lucky to have found love in this form. Be thankful for that bowl of cereal you had, for that lunch date you are going to have, for that vacation you are going on. Be thankful for the water running freely from your tap, for the joy of being able to sit in comfort and read this right now without worry.

Please don’t use the excuse well it’s not my country, they are not my family, they are not my people. This is disgusting to say and sadly I have heard this too many times for my liking. We are one in this world; we should always be reaching out a helping hand to another.

We live blessed lives, even your worst day is your best day, believe me. You are alive, that is enough to be thankful for, and with that, being alive means you are a human in this world and our duty as human’s are to help one another in need.

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I cannot fathom on any level what it would feel like to lose my child, to lose my father, my mother, my loved ones through horrors of war, and in such horrific and painful circumstances. I cannot nearly imagine how I would feel if my child was raped, tortured, beaten to death and worse. I am sure you cannot either. I have seen what it feels like for others first hand to face this, others who once had a normal life, a husband they would kiss goodbye to as they left to work, kids they would open the door to as they came home excited and playful after a day at school begging to go play before dinner, your everyday life, taken away from you, and if you are lucky to be alive still, you get to go and live in a dirty refugee camp, lacking all forms of aid.  Think about it, open your eyes.

Live a good honest life, please be more than what the world is conforming to be, cheating, lies, destruction and so forth. Please be more. Stand up for humanity; stand up as a human being. Spread Peace & Love, this starts in your heart and spreads one little bit at a time.

I share little glimpses here and there of small stories just to give a glimpse into a humanised side of things in Syria. If you are on my mailing list I share a lot more, but will from now on try to blog a lot more…

Be Truth, Be Peace, Be Love, Be Inspiring.

With Peace & Love,

Yasmin

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A Perfect Moment…

10 Dec

Parc National Des Cevennes, France

We should always appreciate the beauty around us…

Parc National des Cevennes, France

Hate.

5 Oct

More lessons through life… A personal journey.

3 years ago I was still living in Los Angeles, so unhappy with the culture around me, desperately seeking depth, meaning, love in my life, seeking guidance in some form.
I was still acting and modelling, amongst too many other careers, working with different charities to help those in need, talent management, and starting the journey into documentaries and so forth. Earning good money, but so unhappy. Now, I am on a higher path in life I feel, and am so grateful for where it is and has led me. I know my work now benefits, will benefit further and his giving some help back into this world in any small way.
3 years ago on an evening out, I had also met some so lost in this world beyond anything I could ever imagine, someone delving so deeply into the false pleasures of this world to mask their own truths and confront their soul. Like most in Los Angeles I had met, they were another on the list of lost souls in that culture deluded by money, sex & power of which I held no interest in. They could not handle the rejection like many ego’s and chased and chased.
Long story short, I decided to look through this false life, believing in the good of others always, believing there was good within, and believing in their story of their life I later discovered was untrue. We ended up on a journey together, one I have recently come to learn was anything but what I was led to believe it was. This is just one example of many paths we cross in life, this story is just relevant to my life right now.
I owe great thanks to this soul though. I thought I could help them, guide them to a better way of being, living, of love in purity and innocence, things lost in this world and so seldom valued. I accepted them for all their past I find morally disagreeable in many ways. I failed in this and they are no more changed through time of our knowing one another. Venom pouring through every vein of their blood, their soul so tainted by hate from any damages they experience through their life. Running at every chance from any truth, leaving a trail of destruction and enjoying it as they do. A thread was pulled and unravelled the whole mask of who they were through life, truths I never thought I would have to deal with. So scared of truth, so scared of being one person, living many lives with different souls that could never cross paths in case the contradictions of their being are every further unravelled. I saw through all of this, and never bestow judgement on others for their rights, wrongs, goods or bads of living. It is not for me to judge, it is for me to learn through experiences. I accepted this soul into my life, as I always accept anyone into my life, and only ever issued forgiveness and understanding where I could. I could see the beauty in their soul that could shine through if they did not hold themselves back and lived openly without fear in life. A soul so consumed by a far past of youth that does not and had not appreciated the beauty in the here and now to strive for a beautiful future, beauty for them was trying to relive in a past daily, along with financial gains and sexual indugences.

They forgot fast the moments I was there in the true manners that matter, it’s like memories truly washed from their mind, not even just forgotten, it’s like they never existed. Tears from being financially broke and I showing that money meant nothing of true value and money do not equal care, and how good that felt, memories like opening to the world, memories of showing what truly matters, memories of feelings of belonging for once in their life, memories which inspired their own work, journeys that were so precious. Now all tainted by a delusion of hate. Deep inside though, they know the truth through the dark image they have painted, or at least I would like to keep believing.
I have faced many struggles in life, all of which I am grateful for. This soul has yet experience life in entirety I feel. Never had to struggle, never had to know what it is to make someone for yourself, by yourself, always had a great family of finances fed to them which gave great rights in their eyes to disrespect others whom don’t hold such blessings in life. Yet, I would never wish for this, I love that what I am working on now has my heart, my soul, my sweat, my every own finance I have struggled for through hard times to ensure I create it. I’m proud to say this at my age.
There is no greater beauty in life than growing with another soul, no greater beauty than someone loving you, caring for you, being there for you no matter who you are. No greater pleasure than a deep connection with someone to walk through this life with, but to fear such depth and run and turn it into venom with a blade that only harms oneself is just sadness to being I will never allow myself to be.
I have sought meaning on why we encounter such souls in life, all different souls in life; I firmly believe there is meaning to our encounters with everyone in life. We all learn lessons, or at least we should and put those good lessons to practice.
I learned what it is to be hated in life for nothing but giving love out recently, to be hated so deeply to have someone want to cause I harm in any form possible, to spend their time doing so, to spend their time feeding a poison instead of releasing it to look at truth.
I understand why people like this do such things in life, I understand why this has been done now.

This journey has taught me of hate, a toxic poison so harmful in life. It has taught me to never hold an ounce of it. It has taught me that it only harms that soul and hate breeds hate at the end of the day. I journey through my life very open about me. My rights, my wrongs, my beliefs, and I do this for me, I hold no care what another thinks of me, I seek no approval, as I know the right souls in life will care for me as me in my entirety.
I won’t cover all details of my personal being. I will only say that right now hate has caused me great harm in so many ways, but all ways of which I forgive in entirety, all of which are leading me greater to the paths I should have been on sooner.
I started my life from absolutely nothing. Literally. My home, my belongings, have all been consumed by a great fire of hate. If only you knew the full details, some do of my situation personally now. But, I bear no hate, no scars, only love sits in my heart and I shall never change in this. The more venom thrown my way, the more love I feel grow within as it keeps me so far away from ever wanting to be a person holding any form of hate. It’s such an ugly thing to wear.

With all of this, I offer my thanks for that hate, for teaching me who I was 3 years ago, seeking love, light, peace in life, seeking truth, seeking a better being. I discovered love in its purity. I discovered innocence in life, I discovered how precious our body, our soul, our mind, our hearts are, how these things are not to be given readily to anyone. I discovered what matters in life, true bonds, and true care.

I created much from nothing before in my life, and again I do so now. The struggle in life is all part of the journey; the struggle is where we learn. I now, more than ever have learned how important it is to banish hate from our world, to banish corruption, to expose truth. I dedicate my life to this now and only this now.
People can live in false pleasures, delve into a world of filth, sex, drink, drugs, prostitution, hate, damage, money, but deep inside this is not a soul who has peace and love within.
I wish all lost souls in life to find their way, to find what matters and never let that go, not run, to not fear life, to not fear love or anyone around, to live as you. Find meaning to life, we are all here to help one another in this world.

Sometimes the more love you throw at a venomous person, the more they spit back. Eventually, a day will come when they learn differently, we just must never become eaten by this flame, we must always give love and blessings to these lost souls.
That soul who taught me of hate, who taught me a lot in life, I will only ever offer my love to be sent their way. I will only ever keep them in my thoughts and wish they find what peace and love is and release a life’s worth of venom pent-up inside and start living purely and truly, and one day deal with the matters of his own child that he continues to run far away from, denying any existance of his own son, his own flesh and blood.

I will always hold my door open to them in a time of need, as I would any stranger in this earth if I am in a power to help. This is what life is about. Forgiveness & love.
I hold old-fashioned values & morals in life, I believe our bodies are so precious, I believe we meet one special person along our journey to fall in love in, a different kind of love of connection in body and soul. I still believe all of this as I get older. I believe waiting for this is worth more than anything, worth more than false pleasures than only shall eventually end in regrets. That bond of purity with another is more beautiful than anything in life.

We are not here to harm each other, we are here to help each other in life. From the harm I see in Syria upon others, upon little children I lack understand of how another can kill in such ways, but I also see it as the same as hate I have seen bestowed upon me and harm to bring me and a child also. There is no place for this in this world.

Nothing is greater than love in this world, and love has always and will always pull me through anything in life.
In this past month, I have met incredible souls from all walks of life, all religions, all cultures, all countries. It has been so beautiful. There is so much beauty in this world, and it must not be forgotten, we must try to bring beauty into the hearts of others.

I don’t want to sound like a hippy or anything, but spread love, peace, joy… It’s truly all that matters.
I have made many mistakes through my life myself, what matters is I can recognise them, accept them, and learn from them.

We all go through journeys in life, we must learn as we go, grow to be better souls, learn of great values, morals, the important of truth, of being one’s self, the important of love and cherishing those who show it. Respect yourself, your body, your mind, your soul.
I hope one day I can write again on this from the view of a soul swimming in hate whom has seen light. What beauty. I know it can be.

With Peace & Love, forever and for always…

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Yasmin x

“It is impossible to fall out of love,love is such a powerful emotion,that once it envelops you it does not depart.True love is eternal..If you think that you were once in love,but fell out of it, then it wasn’t love you were in..There are no ‘exit’ signs in love,there is only an ‘on’ ramp..”